Some thoughts comes at the worst times, like this night when I were about to fall asleep. It was almost one o clock in the morning and I had almost fallen asleep (I have insomnia so I can’t fall asleep so easily) Then all of a sudden my brain thought it would be funny to think about death and what happens after you have died. Just some minutes later I were siting straight up in my bed with death agony. xb Stupid brain!

For the most I think that death is a pretty interesting subject to talk about and I aren’t that scared of death (for the most of the time) but sometimes now and then I get a really scary thought that makes me really afraid of dying.

What if we just disappear after we die, what if there is nothing, what if we won’t remember the life we have lived and there won’t be anything on the other side. We won’t be able to think, remember, see, not anything. It would be like if we had never existed.

Sometimes I wish that I could believe in some kind of God or something like that because the most religions have something like a heaven or reincarnation or something like that. Then I would have been certain of what happens after death because I would believe in my religion. (I know that maybe not everyone in a religion believes in everything, but I want to be someone that could believe in everything in a religion so I wouldn’t be afraid)

Sometimes I envy people that has a religion, at least they believe in something. I just questioning everything and don’t have a goal in life and blablabla. But at the same time I think that a religion can push you back too because most religions have some rules.

I wonder what happens after we are dead… … I don’t mind going to hell, if I have to choose between hell and forget about life and not feel anything and all that then I would definitively choose hell xD An eternity with nothingness which we won’t even be aware of how it would be that is just scary. Probably just because I can’t imagine what nothingness would be like and I wouldn’t even know when I were there.

Hopefully it will take at least 71 more years before I die xD If I am like everyone in my dads family then I will probably become 90-99 years old x) I have no idea how it is in my moms family because we have never really made a genealogical search in her family but in my dads family they have gotten veeery old the last two hundred years.

Well, I shall leave you now. Bye bye ^^


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